Conquering the Victim Saboteur Mindset

Unknown Speaker

Welcome to The MindFit Athlete Podcast. This is the podcast where we explore the intersection of endurance sport and the science of a happier life. I’m John

Scott Lewis

I’m Scott

Emily Carter

And I’m Emily!

Unknown Speaker

This episode is answering some direct requests we've had to drop deeper into the whole area of Saboteur mindsets. You asked and we've listened. Our plan is to work up a library for all 10.

Unknown Speaker

So, Scott, Emily… let’s begin with a scene I think many of our listeners will recognise.

Unknown Speaker

You wake up for that big training session. It’s a key brick workout, the one you’ve been building towards. But from the moment your feet hit the floor, it just feels off.

Unknown Speaker

The weather seems miserable, windy and cold. Your gears aren't indexing properly on the bike. Your legs feel like lead on the first few kilometers of the run.

Unknown Speaker

That nagging ache in your calf is back. And to top it all off, your training partner, who you’re normally neck-and-neck with, just seems to be just ticking-over effortlessly - while YOU are wading through treacle.

Unknown Speaker

It’s easy on days like that to feel like the entire world is conspiring against you.

Scott Lewis

It really is. The weather is against you. Your bike isn't as high spec or well maintained as it should be. Maybe you're actually injured and that's just your luck right? Or maybe someone's given you a virus? And that partner ...he's just got it in for you today.

Scott Lewis

What we're talking about is that feeling, that sense that you’re being acted upon by outside forces. You just can't catch a break. The world is just unfair and the odds are stacked against you.

Unknown Speaker

And thinking this way is one of the most draining experiences an athlete can have.

Unknown Speaker

It’s where the joy of sport goes to die.

Unknown Speaker

And today, we’re going to look that feeling right in the eye.

Scott Lewis

We’re going deep on one of the most common, and most destructive, mental roadblocks that gets in our way: a mindset known as the Victim Saboteur.

Emily Carter

And we need to say this right from the get-go. This can be a tough one to confront. It can feel like a provocative, personal accusation. So if you’re listening to this, our invitation is to approach this with curiosity and a huge dose of self-compassion.

Emily Carter

This isn't about beating yourself up. It’s about getting powerful information that can genuinely set you free.

Unknown Speaker

And Scott, before we dive into the specifics of the framework, I think it's incredibly important that we draw a very clear line in the sand.

Scott Lewis

Yes, thank you, John.

Scott Lewis

This is crucial. Before we define what the Victim Saboteur is, let's be absolutely clear about what we are NOT talking about.

Scott Lewis

We are not talking about people who are victims of genuine trauma or abuse—be that physical, psychological, sexual, or emotional. That experience is real, it is valid, and it often requires professional care and support.

Emily Carter

Absolutely. One hundred percent.

Scott Lewis

So, if you are a person who has experienced trauma that is adversely impacting your day-to-day life, the appropriate and courageous first step is to speak with your GP or a qualified health professional.

Scott Lewis

The conversation we are about to have is about a far more common, and what you might call 'low-grade' internal mindset. It's a pattern of thought that can affect any of us, regardless of our history.

Unknown Speaker

That is a vital distinction. Thank you for making that so clear. So, with that important clarification made, Scott, what exactly is this Victim Saboteur?

Scott Lewis

I think we've all heard the phrase he or she's "Playing the Victim."

Scott Lewis

We might well have met people at work who we might consider have a "Victim mentality." What we mean is that they are easily defeated by setbacks, that they give up easily, or that they expect things to go wrong for them. They are generally "glass half full".

Emily Carter

I think we all know people like that and most of us have been that person at one time or another.

Scott Lewis

Well, it's not surprizing then that "The Victim" is one of the ten core "Saboteurs" identified in the best selling book: Positive Intelligence. Saboteurs are essentially the negative voices in your head. You can think of them as an internal enemy that generates stress, anxiety, and self-doubt, and they are rooted in the parts of our brain responsible for survival.

Scott Lewis

The Victim Saboteur’s master lie... its core belief, is this: "I am powerless, and bad things just happen to me."

Scott Lewis

When this Saboteur hijacks your thinking, you begin to see yourself as being at the mercy of external events. It’s not just a bad day; it’s proof that the universe is against you.

Unknown Speaker

And how does that manifest? What does it sound like in an athlete's head?

Emily Carter

Oh, it’s a whole soundtrack! It's the voice that says, "I can't do it" or "Of course I got a flat tyre, I have the worst luck." Or, "What’s the point in entering that race? The person who always beats me is on the start list anyway."

Emily Carter

It’s the constant focus on what you can't control. Your poor performance is because of the bad weather, your coach’s flawed plan, your rival's lucky break, the referee’s bad call. The Victim encourages you to blame, to make excuses, and to focus on everything that’s going wrong.

Scott Lewis

And that becomes a devastating self-fulfilling prophecy. There's a classic psychological term for this: 'learned helplessness.'

Unknown Speaker

That's Martin Seligman's famous work from the 60s, isn't it? Remind us of the discovery there.

Scott Lewis

Exactly. In his experiments, he observed that animals who were repeatedly subjected to a stressful situation they couldn't control would eventually stop trying to escape it, even when the opportunity for escape was presented. They had learned that they were powerless.

Scott Lewis

And when they put these animals in a new situation where they could easily escape, they wouldn't even try. They just accepted the discomfort. They had learned to be helpless.

Emily Carter

And that is exactly what happens on the race course or in a tough training session. We carry the memory of a past failure where we felt powerless, and we just 'lie down' mentally when the next challenge hits, even though we are stronger and more capable now. We stop looking for the escape route.

Scott Lewis

And that's the devastating neurological reality we're talking about. By focusing on powerlessness, you are literally strengthening the same neural pathways Seligman identified.

Scott Lewis

You’re training your brain to give your power away. Over time, you don't just feel helpless; you begin to act helpless, looking for sympathy instead of solutions. The Victim wants to be rescued, not empowered.

Unknown Speaker

So let's connect this directly to performance. You're on the starting line of a triathlon or a marathon. How does this mindset actively wreck your potential on race day?

Scott Lewis

It dismantles it piece by piece. The first and most obvious impact is a deep sense of self-doubt and defeatism. The Victim whispers that success is for other people. You start a race not just hoping to do well, but already assuming you won’t be competitive.

Scott Lewis

You end up playing not to lose, instead of playing to win.

Emily Carter

And that is poison! Your whole energy is focused on avoiding mistakes, which makes you tight, hesitant, and slow. Playing to win is about freedom, it's about courage, it's about expressing your fitness! The Victim makes that impossible.

Emily Carter

It also creates a crippling fear of failure. For the Victim, a loss or a mistake isn't just a data point to learn from—it's a personal indictment. It’s final proof that you aren’t good enough. That fear prevents you from taking the very risks that lead to breakthroughs.

Unknown Speaker

So it keeps you locked in a state of "playing it safe".

Emily Carter

Exactly! You won’t try a new race strategy, you won't go with that breakaway group on the bike, because the internal voice says, "You'll just blow up and embarrass yourself."

Scott Lewis

This leads to the next piece: a relentless external focus. Your attention shifts from what you CAN control—your pacing, your nutrition, your form—to what you can't.

Scott Lewis

You start obsessing over the course conditions, your opponents, a piece of equipment that isn't perfect. This is a very convenient way to avoid taking personal responsibility for your own performance and, more importantly, for the work required to improve it.

Unknown Speaker

And I imagine this has a significant impact on an athlete’s relationship with their coach?

Emily Carter

It's devastating. How can you learn if you can’t truly hear feedback?

Emily Carter

The Victim mindset perceives constructive criticism as just more bad news. It’s not helpful information; it's another confirmation of its negative worldview: "See? Even my coach thinks I'm terrible."

Emily Carter

This completely blocks the trust and vulnerability you need to have a great coaching relationship.

Emily Carter

And honestly, it can turn an athlete into an energy vampire. A person who is constantly complaining, seeking sympathy, and projecting negativity can suck the positive energy right out of a training group.

Emily Carter

Morale is contagious—and a Victim mindset is spreading the flu.

Scott Lewis

And underneath all of this is the physiological reality. Living in a state of perceived powerlessness is incredibly stressful. Your brain is marinating in cortisol. This harms your sleep quality, it lengthens your recovery time, and it makes you far more vulnerable to both illness and injury.

Scott Lewis

So the mindset that tells you you're weak is, ironically, making you physically weaker.

Unknown Speaker

It strikes me that the biggest casualty here isn't just race results, but the simple enjoyment of the sport.

Emily Carter

John, you have hit the absolute heart of it.

Emily Carter

The Victim saboteur is a joy thief. Remember why you started your sport? For the love of it, right? The feeling of freedom, of strength, of connection. The Victim systematically strips all of that away.

Emily Carter

It forces you to develop a negative perception filter. You could have a fantastic race—a personal best, even—but you spend the entire drive home obsessing over the one person who beat you or the one split that was slightly off. It filters out all the evidence of your success.

Scott Lewis

And this directly blocks the Flow State.

Scott Lewis

Flow, that magical feeling of being completely immersed and energized, is where peak performance and peak enjoyment meet. It requires a quiet mind, a sense of focus and control. The Victim's constant chatter—the self-doubt, the worry, the blame—makes it physiologically impossible to get into flow.

Emily Carter

And it makes you play small!

Emily Carter

The Victim wants you to stay in your comfort zone where it feels "safe." You avoid the challenging races, you duck the tough training partners, you put off learning that difficult new skill like open-water sighting.

Emily Carter

This avoidance of risk robs you of the deep, soul-filling satisfaction that comes from growth and mastery. Your sport, which should be a source of energy, becomes just another source of stress and grief.

Unknown Speaker

This all paints a very bleak, and very compelling, picture of the damage this mindset can do. Which begs the question, Scott: if it's so destructive, why on earth would anyone hold onto it?

Scott Lewis

Because, in the very short term, it offers some sneaky psychological "rewards."

Scott Lewis

Our survival brain is fundamentally wired to seek safety, pleasure, and the easiest path. Sport is often uncomfortable, demanding, and risky for our ego. The Victim offers what feels like a safe way out.

Unknown Speaker

Can we just examine the "rewards" you talked about?

Scott Lewis

The most common is attention and sympathy. When you're the "victim," people often rally around you. They offer support, they listen to your complaints. This can feel validating and make you feel cared for, even if it's for negative reasons.

Scott Lewis

Secondly, it’s a powerful tool for avoiding responsibility. If your poor performance is "not your fault," then you don't have to do the hard, uncomfortable work of changing your training, your diet, or your strategy.

Scott Lewis

Blaming the weather is so much easier than admitting you didn't do your strength work.

Emily Carter

It's the ultimate excuse for inaction. It gives you the perfect reason not to try your hardest. After all, if the system is rigged against you, why bother?

Emily Carter

It’s a way to protect your ego from the potential pain of giving your all and still coming up short. The sofa and a pizza feel a lot "safer" to the Victim than the starting line.

Unknown Speaker

You know, this isn't just an individual battle we're talking about. And this is where, if I'm being honest, it gets quite personal for me to think about.

Unknown Speaker

I've seen how these patterns aren't just inside our own heads; they can be woven into the very fabric of a family, a team, and even an entire culture.

Scott Lewis

That’s a powerful idea. What do you mean?

Unknown Speaker

I was talking with an another athlete from Northern Ireland recently, and he asked me something that just stopped me in my tracks. He had been in the States and he was struck by the contrast in the common greeting we have back home compared to what he heard in Seattle. You ask someone, "How are you?" or "How's it going?" and the stock-standard reply back home isn't "I'm Good thanks" or even "I'm very well" and you would never ever ever EVER hear " I'm Awesome!"

Unknown Speaker

The stock reply is ... "Not bad."

Unknown Speaker

And he was absolutely spot on. "Not bad" That simple, two-word response speaks volumes. It's a conditioned habit, a shared narrative we have at a society level.

Unknown Speaker

A community that has shared a long and difficult history—be it economic hardship, political conflict, social injustice—well, it's easy to see how that might develop into a collective Victim narrative.

Emily Carter

Wow.

Emily Carter

That's a great catch. I hadn't really considered how a community could generate it's own collective mindset.

Unknown Speaker

I think it really can. A cultural story gets passed down. It shows up in the language, the humour, the expectations.

Unknown Speaker

Now, "not bad" can be a powerful statement of resilience.

Unknown Speaker

A way of saying, "Given everything, I'm still standing." I have huge respect for that.

Unknown Speaker

But I also have to wonder... what else is it doing? In its own quiet way, could it be reinforcing a belief that "great" or even "good" isn't really a possibility. Or that maybe it's tempting fate to even say it out loud?

Scott Lewis

And this is where it gets so fascinating from a Saboteur perspective. Because that "not bad" response, which can feel like a Victim or even an Avoider keeping expectations safely low, is a cultural norm.

Scott Lewis

It also occurs to me that there's a flipside to this?

Scott Lewis

In a different culture, someone always replying "Awesome!" might not be coming from their genuine, wise Sage.

Scott Lewis

They could be driven by a Hyper-Achiever Saboteur that feels pressured to project success, or a Pleaser Saboteur who thinks that's the positive answer everyone wants to hear.

Unknown Speaker

Yes. And that's just as likely to be socially conditioned too.

Unknown Speaker

I guess this "over the top," way too positive response is where we get the notion of "toxic positivity" from?

Unknown Speaker

The point I'm getting at isn't that one phrase is better than another.

Unknown Speaker

The point is more to ask ourselves: Is this response coming from my authentic self... or is it a conditioned, limiting pattern I’ve inherited?

Unknown Speaker

Let's be honest here - how many people ever "check in" with themselves and give a truthful answer to the "How are you" question?

Unknown Speaker

The answer is almost always socially conditioned.

Scott Lewis

John, I think this example you given shows exactly how Saboteurs evolve. Of course there's an individual genetic predisposition but as children we're picking up cues from our family, local community and even national culture. We're like this sponge soaking up our environment and adapting to it in a way that our brain senses will serve us best.

Emily Carter

I'd like to add a little to what you and Scott were saying. I'm thinking that a "not too bad" quite downbeat mindset can have a major impact for an athlete!

Emily Carter

What I mean is ... do you allow yourself to set truly audacious goals, or does a little voice—a voice that sounds a lot like your family or your hometown—whisper, "Don't get ahead of yourself" or "Don't get too big for your britches" ?

Emily Carter

Maybe that voice is stopping you fully celebrating your victories and really engaging fully with life. I mean where's the joy in "not bad"?

Emily Carter

I think that to perform at your peak, you have to believe that "awesome" is at least possible for you.

Unknown Speaker

A community stuck in a Victim mindset is always looking back at its wounds. But a community that adopts a more Sage view can say: "Yes, this difficult history happened...

Unknown Speaker

We acknowledge the hurt and the horror of it...

Unknown Speaker

AND... given that this is where we find ourselves...

Unknown Speaker

how can we convert that experience into a gift?

Unknown Speaker

Can we create something positive and beneficial.

Unknown Speaker

We might even become aware of unique strengths this painful experience forged in us?"

Unknown Speaker

Perhaps the gift is resilience.

Unknown Speaker

A dark wit.

Unknown Speaker

A lack of pretentiousness.

Unknown Speaker

A deep sense of connection and a profound ability for empathy.

Unknown Speaker

Recognizing these deeper, collective patterns in myself was a game-changer.

Unknown Speaker

It helped me see that some of my most stubborn limiting beliefs weren't even mine. I had simply absorbed them.

Unknown Speaker

And seeing that... that was the first, most critical step toward choosing a different response. A response that matches and serves my own ambitions far better.

Unknown Speaker

So, a lot to reflect on there.

Emily Carter

You know, just thinking about what you're saying. I have a question. It’s about J.D. Vance's book, Hillbilly Elegy.

Emily Carter

Is that book an example of the "community victim mindset" we were just exploring?

Scott Lewis

I think it's a perfect case study...

Scott Lewis

but perhaps not in the way one might think.

Scott Lewis

It's less a straightforward example of the mindset and more a powerful exploration of the very conditions that create it.

Scott Lewis

This is where we have to be so precise.

Scott Lewis

There’s a crucial difference between acknowledging real hardship and adopting a Victim Saboteur mindset.

Emily Carter

That's the whole game - right there.

Scott Lewis

Exactly. Hillbilly Elegy does an incredible job of documenting legitimate grievances and systemic challenges: the collapse of industry, the social decay, the epidemic of addiction.

Scott Lewis

Acknowledging that pain and seeing that reality for what it is... that's actually the Sage mindset. Seeing life just as it is.

Scott Lewis

The Sage deals with what's true, no matter how difficult.

Scott Lewis

The Victim Saboteur hijacks that reality and adds a devastating filter: "And because of all this, we are powerless. It will never get better. We are doomed, and it's someone else's fault."

Scott Lewis

So, I don't see the book itself as an example of the mindset. I see it as a memoir about being steeped in a culture where that Saboteur voice is incredibly loud and often mistaken for the truth.

Emily Carter

And that's the battle for every single person in that situation!

Emily Carter

It's the tug-of-war between the collective narrative that says, "You can't escape this, this is just who we are," and that individual spark of the Sage that asks, "What can I control right now? What is my next best step?"

Emily Carter

Vance's story, at its core, is about his struggle to choose a different narrative for himself. It's about finding personal agency when the community around you is telling you that you have NONE.

Emily Carter

That is a coaching journey in its rawest form—the fight to believe that "awesome" is possible when the dominant story is: "not bad."

Unknown Speaker

So, the final appraisal is that the book isn't a manifesto for the victim mindset, but rather a dispatch from the front lines of the battle against it.

Unknown Speaker

it documents the very real wounds of a community—which is a vital and valid act—and at the same time, it tells the story of one person's complicated and imperfect attempt to not be defined by those wounds.

Unknown Speaker

It's a case study in the fight for personal agency.

Unknown Speaker

A really sharp question Emily, thank you.

Unknown Speaker

This feels like the perfect time for our mid-episode break. We'll try and lift the mood a little. For anyone training along with us, here's three minutes of "Pick Yourself Up!" at 120 beats per minute to lock in your cadence. We will be right back.

Emily Carter

Welcome back!!

Emily Carter

I want to pick up on the self-awareness John was talking about... that is always the most essential first step. It’s what allows us to move from being caught in the trap to finding a way out.

Emily Carter

Positive Intelligence's research shows that every Saboteur is an exaggeration of an underlying strength.

Emily Carter

Your tendency towards the Victim mindset means you likely possess some incredible positive qualities that have just been pushed into overdrive.

Emily Carter

If you can learn to "dial back" the Victim, you'd find these superpowers.

Scott Lewis

Exactly. For instance, people prone to the Victim saboteur often have a capacity for deep empathy and sensitivity. You feel things deeply. This is what allows you to connect with others and understand their struggles. When it’s not distorted by negativity, this makes you an incredible teammate and leader.

Scott Lewis

You also likely have high emotional awareness. You are highly attuned to your own feelings. This is a powerful tool for self-reflection and growth when it's harnessed correctly.

Emily Carter

And at its root, the Victim’s desire to be "rescued" is a distorted version of a vital human strength: the ability to ask for help. Knowing when you need support from your community is essential!

Emily Carter

Don't think that the goal is to eliminate these traits. Rather it's to rescue them from the Saboteur. It's to channel that empathy into self-compassion, to use that emotional awareness for constructive reflection, and to ask for help to empower yourself, not to be rescued.

Unknown Speaker

Okay, so the path forward isn't to fight ourselves, but to reclaim our strengths.

Unknown Speaker

Emily, let's make this practical.

Unknown Speaker

What should be our game plan? Or, if you like, what's the training plan for someone listening right now who recognizes this voice in their own head?

Emily Carter

I love that you call it a training plan, John, because that’s exactly what it is.

Emily Carter

Right now, the neural pathways in your brain that fire up the Victim are like a three-lane motorway—wide, paved, and heavily used. The new, empowered pathway you want to build is like a tiny, overgrown country lane.

Emily Carter

Your job is to intentionally send more traffic down that new road until it becomes your default route.

Emily Carter

This takes conscious, repeated effort. The first step is simple, but not easy: Awareness. You have to catch the Saboteur in the act.

Unknown Speaker

So just notice the thought?

Emily Carter

Just notice it. Learn to recognize the Victim's voice and the feeling it creates inside you—that familiar cocktail of powerlessness, self-pity, and resentment. And when you feel it, just label it without judgment. "Ah, there's my Victim Saboteur again."

Emily Carter

That simple act of naming it creates separation. It reminds you that it is a voice in your head, it is not you.

Scott Lewis

Once you've spotted it, you can move to step two: Intercept and Reframe. This is where you activate what we call your "Sage." The Sage is the deep, wise part of you that knows every circumstance can be turned into a gift or opportunity.

Scott Lewis

The first Sage step is to Accept What Is.

Scott Lewis

A storm cancels your outdoor ride. A rival beats you. You get a puncture. You cannot change these facts. Fighting reality is a colossal waste of precious mental energy. Acceptance simply draws a line under the negativity.

Scott Lewis

Then, you ask the key Sage question: "What does this make possible?" or "What is the opportunity here?"

Scott Lewis

That cancelled ride becomes a chance for that mobility workout you've been skipping. That tough loss becomes a source of invaluable data on how to improve. You shift your focus from what you can't do, to what you CAN do.

Emily Carter

And this leads to the third part of the plan: Practice Active Ownership. This is about relentlessly focusing on what you CAN control.

Emily Carter

You can't always control the final result, but you can almost always control your effort, attitude, and execution. Get your satisfaction from those things.

Emily Carter

And after every single training session, log three things that went well. It can be a feeling, a fact, anything. "I held my pace on that last interval." "I didn't give up when it got hard." "I was grateful for the sunshine." This builds a library of evidence against the Victim's lies.

Scott Lewis

And finally, you have to learn to apply that empathy you have for others to yourself, but in the right way. There is a huge difference between self-pity and self-compassion.

Scott Lewis

Self-pity, the voice of the Victim, says, "Poor me, I'm stuck and this is unfair."

Scott Lewis

Self-compassion, the voice of the Sage, says, "This is really hard right now, and I'm struggling. I will treat myself with kindness as I work to grow from this."

Scott Lewis

And sometimes, that self-compassion includes the tough love that holds you accountable, because it knows, without a doubt, that you are capable of so much more.

Unknown Speaker

It all comes back to a central theme we discuss so often here. Your happiness, your performance, your experience… it is your responsibility. An athlete understands you don't get fit by reading about it; you have to do the workouts. You have to show up. Mental fitness is exactly the same.

Emily Carter

It is. You are either moving forwards or backwards. There is no middle ground. Too many of us let these inner Saboteurs strip the joy from the very sports we chose because we loved them. You have the power to change your inner game.

Emily Carter

Your happiness isn't "out there," dependent on your next race result. It’s right here, inside you, waiting to be cultivated.

Unknown Speaker

There’s a famous quote from Henry Ford that seems to fit perfectly here: "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't—you're right.”

Unknown Speaker

The question is, what will YOU choose to think?

Unknown Speaker

If you haven't yet taken a Saboteur Assessment to uncover your own unique saboteur profile then please head over to MindFitAthlete.Com forward-slash DISCOVER and we'll set you up with an assessment invite.

Unknown Speaker

You'll also have an option of a free 30minute 1 on 1 debrief of your report.

Emily Carter

And if this conversation resonated with you, and you're interested in diving deeper, the Positive Intelligence 7-week Foundation Course is a powerful programme designed to build these mental muscles rigorously. It’s about taking these concepts and turning them into a daily practice. We’d love to have you join us.

Unknown Speaker

You can also find more information about that on our website: MindFitAthlete.Com forward-slash FOUNDATIONS. For now, from all of us here at The MindFit Athlete, thank you for listening.

Emily Carter

Have an awesome day everyone. I've been Emily.

Scott Lewis

And I've been Scott. Take care and happy training.